?

Log in

The Scripture [entries|friends|calendar]
The Church of Kyle

[ website | Official Kyle Journal ]
[ userinfo | livejournal userinfo ]
[ calendar | livejournal calendar ]

[08 May 2009|02:15pm]

jtggodqos
*runs up to Kyle's "leg" and doggy-humps it*
++and so 1 follower will offer adoration //-\\ praise and worship me++

Add Another To the ranks [12 Sep 2006|05:16pm]

rogue_hc_tiger
[ mood | curious ]

State your name: Jake
Age: 22
Hometown: Lafayette, but my heart is divided between Chicago and New Orleans
Your role in the church (you get to decide!): The Prodigal Son
How do you know Kyle? Kyle was the DJ that saved my life....
What has Kyle done to change your life? He taught me how to work the rumour mill....
Would you take a bullet for Kyle? I would be Kyle's Secret Service Agent...
Do you agree to follow all rules of the Church of Kyle and keep the faith (rules can be found on the userinfo page)? Why wouldn't I?

++praise and worship me++

He's got a new follower [24 Oct 2005|01:27am]

lunarkiss
State your name: Stephanie
Age: 18
Hometown: Alexandria
Your role in the church (you get to decide!): Hmm... Holy Mistress of Mischief
How do you know Kyle? LJ, Pride
What has Kyle done to change your life? I saw the light!
Would you take a bullet for Kyle? If it was made of jelly...
Do you agree to follow all rules of the Church of Kyle and keep the faith (rules can be found on the userinfo page)? I'm the Mistress of Mischief, take that how you will?


I'm also femmestarchaser on AIM. Message me, add me on your LJ, just let me know who you are first!!

++praise and worship me++

[13 Sep 2005|04:54pm]

yacaughtme2386
[ mood | chipper ]

Hey guys...
I'm new here. I like this community. I'm glad I joined.

My AIM sn is Michellemybelleg. Feel free to IM me... just tell me who you are so I can know you're not some kind of stalker or something.

God save... God...

-Michelle

++and so 1 follower will offer adoration //-\\ praise and worship me++

[31 Aug 2005|01:33am]

jtggodqos
*bows down before the wonderous Kyle*
++praise and worship me++

GOD is in the tv [14 Aug 2005|04:36am]

dolor_verum_est
[ mood | my son came by for a visit ]

New items of interest here at the church:

We now have an icon to direct us. Behold the power of Christ!

The Church fully endorses the following products:
- Pepsi and all Pepsi products
- Dr. Pepper and all Dr. Pepper products
- Blue Bell Ice Cream
- Ben and Jerry's Ice Cream
- Checkers (the fast food restaurant)
- Chinese food
- Clairol
- Mary Kate and Ashley cosmetics and accessories

The Church has no problem with the following products but does not specifically endorse them:

- Coca-Cola and related products
- Taco Bell
- Burger King
- Avon cosmetics and accessories

The Church believes the following to be sinful (in a bad way) and that they should be boycotted:

- Generic Dr. Pepper
- The Sweet Factory
- Dasani Raspberry water
- The Energizer Bunny (Energizer batteries are ok)
- The Cheerios with the prepackaged strawberries
- Special K with the prepackaged strawberries
- Geico
- Tony Little

Also, once the rest of the Anti-Kyleist figures get livejournals war will be declared and battles will be fought. The way the battles will be fought will be through Mortal Kombat the game. God will face Satan, the second coming of Christ will face the Anti-Christ, and the Not So Virgin Mary will face the Queen of the Emo Children/Queen of Hell. And so on down the line.

++and so 5 followers will offer adoration //-\\ praise and worship me++

and here i am, pouring my heart onto these rooftops [12 Aug 2005|12:04am]

westwardwind
[ mood | bouncy ]

State your name: I am teh Lukas.
Age: Eighteen.
Hometown: Cecilia.
Your role in the church (you get to decide!): the Antichrist.
How do you know Kyle? I once fell out of a tree. Kyle was there. He laughed.
What has Kyle done to change your life? He gave birth to me.
Would you take a bullet for Kyle? If there were cheese involved. And llamas.
Do you agree to follow all rules of the Church of Kyle and keep the faith (rules can be found on the userinfo page)? Unless I find some not to, sure.

++and so 1 follower will offer adoration //-\\ praise and worship me++

GOD speaks. [08 Aug 2005|01:09pm]

dolor_verum_est
[ mood | almighty ]

I updated the interests list.

This community needs to get going again. We need a role call.

Comment in this post with the following (yes, everyone must do it!!!)

State your name:
Age:
Hometown:
Your role in the church (you get to decide!):
How do you know Kyle?
What has Kyle done to change your life?
Would you take a bullet for Kyle?
Do you agree to follow all rules of the Church of Kyle and keep the faith (rules can be found on the userinfo page)?

++and so 19 followers will offer adoration //-\\ praise and worship me++

hey, guys. [08 Aug 2005|12:03pm]

themadisonrocks
I'm Madison B. Psychiatrist to God.
i'm 16.. used to go to Comeaux. However, now I am a Junior and go to LSMSA. woo.
if anyone, especially God, needs anything, just ask
sessions will be confidential(as if i'd tell)
no money required unless a physical favor is asked, but i rarely ask, anyway, so no worries.




HA!.

lovelovelove
++praise and worship me++

NEW CHURCH DIRECTORY. [08 Aug 2005|03:09am]

dolor_verum_est
[ mood | awake. like always. ]

GOD:  Kyle (dolor_verum_est/dante_sensei)
The Most Blessed Not So Virgin Mary:  Whitney (myownmemento)
The Holy Spirit:  Paige (rynia)
Jesus Christ:  Ross (dspin)
The Second Coming of Christ: Michael (m_and_m845)

The Pope:  Lauren (velouria_cuomo) (also the Church's Mother Superior, publicist, and lawyer)
Archbishop Wooters/Mr. Pink:  Tara (solemnrayne)
Ambassador to the Heretics: Samantha (boi_in_boots)
Psychiatrist to GOD: Madison (themadisonrocks)

The Saints:
Saint Mary Ignatius: Jalyn (jalyn)
Saint SrLubaLuba: Monique (countrychick812)
Saint Sinner: Kevin (logicispower)

The Clergy:
Mother Superior:  Lauren (velouria_cuomo) (also the Pope, church publicist, and lawyer)
Sister Helen Marmalade:  Caitlyn (wickedkithic)
Father Dylan Bucket/The second coming of Jesus:  Michael (m_and_m845)
Sister Mary Ann Lebinowicz / Official Church Bartender: Windi (eruditeboredom)

Others:
Mary Magdeline: Krista (theatrebuff101)
Church Sex Shop Operator/Jezebel the Church Prostitute: Kristin (at_my_pncil_tip)
Official Church Babysitter/Hairdresser: Heather (aslin)
Official Church Spy: Sam (starysilence/ikn0wy0ukn0w)
Official Church Pimp: Michelle (yacaughtme2386)

Anti-Kyle figures:
The Anti-Christ: Lukas (westwardwind)


Excommunicated members:

The former Saint Hot Pants: Drea (stststutter) - for causing unnecessary drama, leading to a breakdown between God and Saint Agnes
The former Saint Agnes: Anna (essenceofadream) - for running a dictatorship and trying to convert church members
The former Brother Gerus Inficious: Jon (evilfireboy) - for speaking out against God and calling God emo at a time that God clearly was not emo; rumors; resurrecting long-dead drama; turning believers against God; inciting riots
The former Brother Rico Suave: Erik (imburningtonite) - for speaking out against God and commenting on drama that he had no business in participating in
A former worshipper: Ryan (reggaeryan25) - for inciting vicious lies against God; false claims concerning The Virgin Mary; being extraordinarily angst-mo; harassment; threats; attempted conversion of The Virgin Mary and other worshippers; being unnecessarily unreasonable; having bad taste in art, film, and literature; lack of self-control
The former gamekeeper: Russell (zimzat) - for breaking church rules (especially the first rule) and speaking out against God; harassment; threats

*anyone wishing to have a chat with GOD which will be posted in the community may contact "The Emo Savior" via AOL Instant Messenger*

++praise and worship me++

Hey all. [08 Aug 2005|02:53am]

logicispower
Hey everyone, my name is Kevin Broussard and I'm from New Iberia, LA. My old name's lostvagrants, but I never chose a name and was never active. So, here I am now. I will go by Saint Sinner. :-D
++praise and worship me++

in the room the women come and go [07 Jul 2005|03:10pm]

velouria_cuomo
hi.
it's my birthday.
awesome?
yes.
++praise and worship me++

[11 May 2005|02:19pm]

dante_sensei
[ mood | headache'd! ]

Just a friendly reminder from your favorite GOD figure.

The following members need to choose roles for this church:

at_my_pncil_tip
blameitallonme
lostvagrants
multi_cd_grrl

++and so 5 followers will offer adoration //-\\ praise and worship me++

[11 May 2005|02:20pm]

dante_sensei
[ mood | headache'd! ]

Just a friendly reminder from your favorite GOD figure.

The following members need to choose roles for this church:

at_my_pncil_tip
blameitallonme
lostvagrants
multi_cd_grrl

++and so 3 followers will offer adoration //-\\ praise and worship me++

come to the dark side [21 Apr 2005|12:39am]

velouria_cuomo
[ mood | matriarchal ]

Good morning, Vietnam.

That wasn't funny. Hello, believers in the Kyle. Another friendly announcement from your relatively friendly Popestress here. It's a good thing I'm not dead like JP2, or Emperor Palatine-esque like Benny16. I'd like to make a few choice statements ex cathedra. (More accurately, I like the way ex cathedra sounds. Yes, Latin can be sexy, and it would be awesome if I had a cathedra from which I could be...ex.)

1. Jesus Chainsaw Massacre is a crappy movie. Who wants to see their perceived savior all bloody? gross. I'd never want to see Kyle like that. Instead, they should make a movie about Kyle where he just gets cool stuff, like beer and bitches. That would be hot.

2. In some contrast to the previous statement, I think Larry Clark is my new favorite artist. I hate him, but I cannot resist his style. damn. Anyone want to buy Teenage Lust for me?

3. Finally, in light of the recent JP2/Benny16 the Nazi business, and the Catholic Church itself: Condoms are good and women are people, just deal with it. pfft.

++and so 1 follower will offer adoration //-\\ praise and worship me++

dear fabulous congregation: [17 Mar 2005|11:29am]

velouria_cuomo
If you love your Pope/Mother Superior, buy her this:

1
2
3
4
5

um...I'll trade for makeouts.
++praise and worship me++

God misses having fireside chats with people. Maybe he'll resurrect "The Emo Savior" for AIM. [08 Mar 2005|04:46am]

dante_sensei
[ mood | God is in the TV, procrastinating like whoa. ]

This is just a reminder to our church's newest member (countrychick812) that you need to choose a name/affiliation with the church_of_kyle.

<3

God has been going though a lot of changes lately.  Expect angsty bitching from him at some point concerning former members of the church/lame people he knows IRL/the state of the world.

++and so 1 follower will offer adoration //-\\ praise and worship me++

a few thoughts from your pope about their pope. [25 Feb 2005|08:59pm]

velouria_cuomo
So John Paul II is damn near dead. He's a cute old man, even if he hates women and condoms and everything good, and is a representative of the oppressive patriarchy within/beneath which I spent most of my youth. He does, however, oppose the death penalty, so he's alright with me in that respect.

Thoughts? Comments?
++and so 3 followers will offer adoration //-\\ praise and worship me++

in the room the women come and go [02 Dec 2004|11:40pm]

velouria_cuomo
If T.S. Eliot and God got in a fight, it may very well be totally sweet.

Your Pope demands more posts. love!
++and so 4 followers will offer adoration //-\\ praise and worship me++

To God and his addictiveness [07 Aug 2004|03:06am]

myownmemento
[ mood | indescribable ]

The Perfect DrugCollapse )

++praise and worship me++

The Converted Rabbi approaches God one late evening. [24 Jul 2004|01:19am]

dante_sensei
[ mood | i ate a bad burger today ]

blindfoldyourslf: you made me give up judaism for the likes of the church of kyle. you are amazing!
The Emo Savior: Hooray!
blindfoldyourslf: i feel so blessed!
The Emo Savior: Conversions are always good.
The Emo Savior: You should.  My powers stretch far.
blindfoldyourslf: all the way to =-O massachusettes!
The Emo Savior: Hehe.  And farther, on occasion ^^
blindfoldyourslf: oh gee wiz.thats incredible.
blindfoldyourslf: and you amaze me. therefor i am no longer jewish, but kyleist??? ish? uhm?
blindfoldyourslf: god kyle.... unfortunatly your great powers are too much for my moral body to take and i fear i must rest
The Emo Savior: Oy.  Okay then.
blindfoldyourslf: ....oy :-)
The Emo Savior: I think you can remain Jewish... but just also believe in me.
The Emo Savior: Oy indeed.  God's job lately has been to be stage manager for a play about three Jewish women.
blindfoldyourslf: haha. im only half jewish. my mom, she wants her grandkids NOW
The Emo Savior: Heh
blindfoldyourslf: i just turned 18 and i was asked "when are you getting married?"
blindfoldyourslf: great god, why?!
The Emo Savior: Eighteen is a bit young to get married...
The Emo Savior: I don't plan on doing so until my late twenties.
blindfoldyourslf: gods can get married?
The Emo Savior: I'd much rather focus on school and getting a job right now.
The Emo Savior: Yes we can.  In my universe, we can.
blindfoldyourslf: haha sorry i like to strech this out pretty far
The Emo Savior: This is not a problem.  That is why this screen name was created.
blindfoldyourslf: haha i just moved out of my house. and i start up college again in the fall
The Emo Savior: What are you studying?
blindfoldyourslf: English
The Emo Savior: As am I.
blindfoldyourslf: =-O
blindfoldyourslf: I got a scholarship for my school because i'd like to teach.
blindfoldyourslf: unfortuantly, you wouldn't know i have brains by how i type (many typos)
blindfoldyourslf: good night god. i do predict we shall talk more
blindfoldyourslf: probably under your other screen name at times
The Emo Savior: Indeed.
blindfoldyourslf: or in your commentarty
blindfoldyourslf: ....commentary
The Emo Savior: That way we have more flexability in what we say.
blindfoldyourslf: im sure that makes the most sense.
blindfoldyourslf: good night god. have a nice evening (morning?)
blindfoldyourslf: <3 the converted rabbi
The Emo Savior: Meh.  Evening.
The Emo Savior: <3

++praise and worship me++

[24 Jul 2004|12:03am]

allude
State your name: Jan
Age: 18 years and 4 days
Hometown: Palmer, Mass
Your role in the church (you get to decide!) Saint Hot Pants suggested I be a saint as well. see more for detailsCollapse ) In conclusion, I have decided I'd like to go with my Jewish roots here and be The Converted Rabbi.
How do you know Kyle? from Livejournal, and the numerous communities we are in. He recently added me as a friend, and Dre Suggested I join.
What has Kyle done to change your life? He inspires me with his wonderful journal entries and inactivity dotting in word_i_am_hard.
Would you take a bullet for Kyle? Of course. He's all I have to believe in, in my life. Though as a god, you figure he probably has the great power to save himself. But still, I'd do it for Kyle. He's amazing.
++praise and worship me++

God speaks [23 Jul 2004|03:19pm]

dante_sensei
[ mood | good ]

OMM DREA ROCKS.

Image hosted by Photobucket.com

Here's the code, if you want to put the banner in your userinfo (and I think everyone should...)

<a href="http://www.livejournal.com/userinfo.bml?user=church_of_kyle"><img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v20/dante_sensei/Livejournal%20Usage/church.gif" alt="Image hosted by Photobucket.com"></a>

++praise and worship me++

theme [23 Jul 2004|07:17am]

stststutter
oh you cute little thing
all side glances
and come fuck me lips
that tumbled hair
and melancholy voice
keep me wanting more
so write a song for me
full of broken words
and breathless passion
split every inch of that skin
and show me everything
that you keep hidden deep down inside
come envelope me
through plastic and wires
...make me see God
++praise and worship me++

God and the new pope have a chat next to the pool. [23 Jul 2004|03:07am]

dante_sensei
[ mood | i wonder what tomorrow will bring ]

youre not real: would it be blasphemous to talk to god with a screen name like "youre not real"?  or just ironic?
The Emo Savior: I think it's just ironic.
The Emo Savior: Either way, it works.
The Emo Savior: So how are you, my new pope?
youre not real: excellent.
youre not real: not bad.
The Emo Savior: That's good to hear.
The Emo Savior: What have you been up to lately?
youre not real: working, watching law and order, so i can learn to keep your faithful in line.  i get tips from the 'dark, hardened cop' figure.
The Emo Savior: I see.
The Emo Savior: That Law and Order... I should watch that.
youre not real: it's a good show.
The Emo Savior: So I've heard.  I don't watch TV much anymore though.
youre not real: i've been watching less lately, started reading more.  summer's a good time for that.
The Emo Savior: Heh.  I'll agree.  I also have been reading more lately.  I've restarted The Da Vinci Code just this last week.
youre not real: i haven't read that yet.  would you recommend?
The Emo Savior: Indeed I would.
The Emo Savior: I'm only about fifty pages into it.  It's not looking to be all that the critics have made it out to be, but it's still pretty good.
youre not real: maybe i'll have to check it out, then.
youre not real: things usually aren't.
The Emo Savior: *nods*
youre not real: like that movie troy.
youre not real: i prefer a little more clash of the titans-style divine intervention.
The Emo Savior: *grins*
youre not real: though i'll hand it to achilles, he's hot.
The Emo Savior: Mmm.
The Emo Savior: Indeed he is...
youre not real: hah.  yes.
The Emo Savior: Mm.  I notice that one of our brothers has entered the poetry contest.
The Emo Savior: Will you be entering the poetry contest?
youre not real: i'm working on a piece right now.
The Emo Savior: Awesome.
youre not real: a poem, as well as a bit of a further introduction into my new position in the church
The Emo Savior: I like that idea.
The Emo Savior: That way you can set some more ground rules and whatnot.
youre not real: yes.  i think you'll enjoy what i'll have to say.
The Emo Savior: I'm sure I will ^^
youre not real: i compare myself to an old school nun at catholic school, keeping the kids in line...except they'll like it.
The Emo Savior: Ooooh... do you get to carry around the rulers to spank the bad children?
youre not real: yes.  perhaps with the assistance of the whipmaster, for the really bad kids.
youre not real: it's all about teamwork.
The Emo Savior: Hmm.  I think I like the way this is going... *smirks*
youre not real: excellent.
youre not real: i submitted my poem, along with a supplementary introduction.
The Emo Savior: Awesome.
The Emo Savior: You rock, my pope.
youre not real: as do you.
The Emo Savior: Thank you.
The Emo Savior: Haha.  You = rad.
The Emo Savior: I love the post.
youre not real: yay!
youre not real: i'm glad.
The Emo Savior: My pope, I must take my leave.  I have a very busy day ahead of me tomorrow.  St. John wants me to go over for some interior decorating or something.
youre not real: he should take a class or something.
The Emo Savior: I agree.  I think he just wants to get God in the sack though.  It won't happen.
youre not real: anyway, have a good night, and don't let him convince you wallpaper is a good idea.
The Emo Savior: Oh, trust me, I know better.
The Emo Savior: And you too, have a good night.
youre not real: good night.

++praise and worship me++

navigation
[ viewing | most recent entries ]
[ go | earlier ]